Everyone, except our dissenter, Leif. Everyone, glare at Leif with me. (Group Glare).
I then realized I only had a house in Paris and not in China, which would make skilling significantly harder and really waste most of my days having everyone sit at the home base without actually being able to buy skills or place new skilling objects. So, I decided to send Foxglove and Leif.
This has a double motive in that I can't figure out if they like each other or not, so I figured that, surely a vacation alone together with some adventuring would let me know if they were just meant to be friends and I should stop wasting my time, or that they were actually attracted to each other. Let's see how this goes.
"Hey so, now that we're in China would you like to go adventuring with me? I'll collect the Visa points because I have the Adventurous trait and I'll gain them faster."
Bless you, child.
Leif (autonomously flirting): "I'd go anywhere with you, Foxglove."
"Oh! Oh my, we're closer now suddenly. Uhm, well..." Foxglove looks around. "Shaka Bra!"
"Right on!"
"Now where should we begin?"
Leif (autonomously flirting): "Can I just stare into your eyes a little longer?"
"Oh my, you're cute. Wow. Ok. Uhm..."
"I like your hair short."
"Oh, thank you? Uh... how do I... hmm... Do you like vegetables?"
"Do you hear that banging sound?"
Don't mind me. I'm just beating my head against my desk. How about you go on an adventure? Or six. I need to mull this over.
"-it's also really rude! And that, sir, is why you should turn your lights off so that one selfish woman can look through her blasted telescope and I can earn some more visa points..."
"Uh, alright?"
"Yes! That makes three people! What next?"
Here, we see a wild Foxglove being adorable in her natural habitat... let's watch.
"Ooh! Tomb exploration! LEIF! WE'RE GOING ON A TRIP!"
...in our favorite rocket ship! Zooming through the sky...! The watcher clears her throat. Sorry, been around my nephew too much.
So Leif and Foxglove made, single handedly, the best tomb exploration duo I've ever had.
"Awe! Thanks, Watcher!"
Leif grumbled under his breath about the crazy watcher. "I can't believe we're doing this..."
NO ONE ASKED YOU, DISSENTER.
Anyways, they cleared huge tombs in record time for me because they were so in sync. Which only makes my head-bashing-against-my-desk happen more frequently. They're adorable and they work so welltogether. Why can't they make up their minds and tell me what they want!
"I'll pull this over here while you step on that right there."
"Good call, Foxy."
"Foxy?" Foxglove turns a bright pink. "Oh my."
"OH MY GOSH SOMETHING ATE ME."
Did it? Did it reaaally?
"No, but it was scary."
Leif shuffles over. "Step aside, let a man take care of this!"
(Leif gets his butt handed to him).
"And this is why we're leaving right now. Let's go."
"You're so strong and helpful!"
I don't know what's funnier, that she said that, or that she meant it genuinely...
Leif grumbled some more.
"Alright! Now with that turned in, we just need to convince three more people to smash a boulder and-"
I decided to cut to the chase.
"You just kissed me?"
"It seems I just did."
"Wow."
"Yeah..."
"What now?"
"We test out the tent we're never going to use?"
Foxglove smiles.
"Wow."
"Yeah..."
So the start of Pangu's Axe ensued.
(Suchs in air frantically) "I LOVE TOMB RAIDING!"
You sure it wasn't that earlier tryst?
Foxglove carries on into the tomb.
WHY WON'T YOU GUYS TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT?! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO FULL NOTEBOOK ON YOUR BUMS. WHAT DO YOU WANT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Foxglove and Leif: "It's not that simple..."
YES IT IS, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Ahem. Don't mind us. This will ensue for days.
"Hey! I did it! This is the Axe! Yippee! I got this!"
"Oh, is that lightning? That's so-OHMYGOSH THIS IS REALLY HEAVY."
"OH WATCHER. LEIF. HELP. IT'S HEAVY."
"IT'S SLOWLY CRUSHING MY BONES. HELP."
"Alright, maybe if I just... shift it like this... then I've... yeah... there we go. Phew."
"Hello, Adventurer! I'm Pangu's Axe! I'm finally free from this dire cave!"
"The Axe is talking to me now? No thanks. The watcher makes for more than enough voices filling my head, thanks. I'm ready to go back to being chained to an easel now..."
Literally can't get over the notice where the Axe actually said hello to Foxglove. Her face summed up my own face at it.
"Let's test this baby! Ready?"
"...HULK..."
"SMASH."
And that was when dainty Foxglove turned into a crazy, strong, she-hulk.
"Alright, just going to grab some more things here..."
STOP. FREEZE.
"What?! What?! I'm freezing?! What?!"
YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
Leif sighs and shuffles to lean and stare at Foxglove.
Leif is the dissenter. Foxglove finds him "Blindingly Stunning (10/10)" and he only finds her "Smoking Hot (9/10)."
Leif. You're a failure. You disappoint me.
"What else is new?" He continues staring at Foxglove.
Did you say that JUST because I always compliment her, or because you actually don't find her blindingly stunning?
Leif smiles widely. "The world may never know."
With one more mighty swing of my she-hulk, Foxglove...
"Yes! Yes! We did it! I'm at level 3!"
With a day to spare!
The Nixes purchase their very first home in China.
"WE DID IT!"
"That we did!"
"Wow."
"Yeah..."
No comments:
Post a Comment