Un: La femme citronnée

This was the first thing to spawn, and this girl has to scrape together enough funds so she can even buy herself a canvas to paint on.

Parfait! We sell anything and everything - I've no time for saving stuff right now. A few spawn points began to open up so I sent Lucie over to dig up the things.
Me (as a general TS4 noob sometimes): Oh wait can't you do something with these geodes?

*Whistles and sells it*
I suddenly remembered I had to get Lucie a job ASAP and flipped through the menus.

.... yup it's one of these. Probably the one that doesn't have to do with school (ecole). I'm used to job/work meaning travail/some form of it, but emploi sure does sound like job! Look at me, ma, I'm learning FRENCH!

Scouts it is!

The word for excavating these things is "Creuser." We also got our first MySims doll from it, which I very quickly decided (due to most of them being super cheap anyways) to use for her hobby collection.

I proceeded to buy her a shelf - or rather a few shelves. I left Buy Mode and kicked myself because I don't need all those shelves and I just wasted money, so I sold them back for less than their original cost. Esti!
*coughs* remember uhh, say as I do, not as I say. 🤐

So for some reason Lucie can't be arsed to move at a speed other than a crawl, as such the welcome wagon arrives and she hauls her snail ass back to the house only to have him leave the second she arrives to greet him.

Yeah well, va shier, trou de cul!
I'm teaching you non-French-knowers some colorful language today.
This likely won't be the last you see of it either.

Lucie needs to ALSO maintain a pet fish for the duration of the challenge, so I got to WORK. Or rather, Lucie got to work... Travaille!

La femme citronnée here caught us fucking lemon after lemon from this goddamn river.

Until she finally caught herself a fish!

"Regardez! Je l'ai fait!"
Yes I had to spend forever conjugating that just to have her say "I did it."
Yes I'm proud.
*grumbling* damn tenses other than present!

We name our pet fish Dominique. This is the only fish in this challenge that will have a name, lol.

The thing I dread happens, and poor Lucie is suffering dearly from no one to talk to. Well, time to go make a fool out of ourselves!

Only this damn lemon woman walks at the speed of a dead slug, so she misses pretty much everyone I try to have her interact with. Someone new finally enters and... Hey look it's Wolfgang!

He's a teen too, so I'll probably use him for one of the boyfriend/girlfriend requirements.

Here's how the menus look for me, which if you speak any modicum of French more than me this probably isn't too daunting. In fact, I can actually understand most of this... but it requires some thought and parcing that I just really don't want to spend on basic conversation stuff, so I mostly flew blind in the dark selecting things until I started to recognize what some of them were... then I started leaning entirely on those.


Let's try THIS one!

Ooh look, it worked! It also made Lucie happy, so I can start to recognize the Brighten Day and Sincere Compliment options... hello crutch, meet all my crushing weight of needing friendship.

Mila tried to intervene in this positively SPLENDID conversation her son and this new, socially inept girl were having, but alas, she was unsuccessful.
*cancels her out of queue* Au revoir, connasse!
So I spent a solid 2 minutes paused digging through the friendship menu trying to find anything with "regard" the sky/clouds/ANYTHING.
Gimme those easy friendship points!

French Gods: Vœu exaucé!
Wish granted indeed!

Geoffrey: (stomp)
Lucie: Hmm, non, le nuage ne ressemble pas à ton visage.

Meanwhile, Lady Lisa over here is enRAGED and that's fine. Make those angry eggs! I'm back to ignoring her.

Achievement! I haven't totally failed yet!

I'm like 99% sure Lucie has a massive crush here. I really dig it.

Anyways, time to get going on getting those 13 meals prepped and made! Need 13 different recipes and I don't think I got pictures of them all. I just did them in order down the cooking menu.

Our first one is Sandwich au fromage fondu. Or, as the laymen call it, Grilled Cheese.

Loser Lisa likes lingering in last week's leftovers.

Lovely Lucie corners loser Lisa to get herself a damn badge.
Aren't I so poetic? 

Badge recieved! Another one for the books.

See, I got tired of my discord requiring shift-~ to view my messages leaving ~ everywhere, so I swapped it to shift-tab, which is a mistake because now I get thrown into scary first person mode at inconvenient times.
Like the shower
AKA REMEMBER self swap your keybinds again.

Yay Promotion! That's a word I recognize!

Time to start slogging out some paintings!

Apparently I didn't opt her out of the celebrity life, but I'm ok with that. Popularity might make it easier to make friends!

Lucie lives a mostly miserable first few days of teen life which includes barely having all of her needs filled.

100% I have to tell you all that I've played TS4 before... but not avidly. I have a legacy and that's almost entirely where I play at, so there's a lot of stuff I've seen before, but also a lot I haven't. Due to this mostly-knowledgeable background I have, I'm going to be taking pictures of ALL the balloon/chance cards that come up so I can practice my French and see what I know.
I usually have to sit on these screens for about 5 minutes to slowly translate it all out, but I can do it. It's just slow.
So here's a heads up you'll be seeing a lot of those.
This one was just offering those free earbuds, which we took. I didn't sell them, because they're in loser Lisa's inventory, so she gets to hang onto them indefinitely and poor Lucie will have to buy her own if she wants them.

I have a routine for Lucie after school which I send her to all the collection spots around her house. It's at this point I grumped like WHY ARE YOU MOVING SO SLOW?
Ohhhh she's mortified.
ESTI! Get her faire du jogging ASAP!

If I recall right, it wasn't even CALLED faire du jogging or anything like THAT which I expected it to in French, but I forgot to take a picture of it.

Here's Loser Lisa smiling after she walked in on Lucie in the bathroom, attempting to fucking murder her because she was already embarrassed as it was when Lisa decided to fucking barge right on in.

Loser Lisa is trying to kill Lucie, it's now been discovered, and she continuously demeans, insults, and torments my poor Lucie around the house whenever I leave them nearby long enough.

Vas te faire écraser par un camion, Lisa.
A very big truck.
(Vas = go, te faire écraser = to be crushed, par un camion = by a truck).

Ah the life of only having one inventory. I laid out all the daisies she collected and put them one by one into her inventory so she could "give them away" for her badge. We kept the rest for the start of her garden, which is a bit of a ways off.

Hey Lucie! Do you want to join the Sportifs? (My best guess from staring at it).
Nah, non merci bro.

Lisa about to make me kill a ho with how she treats my Lucie. Girl go fall into a river somewhere. Look there's one across the road.
Once this challenge is over, you're dead meat. 

Thankfully, the game heard my pleas.

Get rekt bitch!
I mean... oh... how unfortunate.

Wee chance card! Professor has to leave for a bit for some predicament. He asks to give the students.... basically this was the chance card where she can follow the Professor's actions or do something else, so they do something else.

The professor est moins...que --- mois...que is "less than" statement. So the absence of the professor is less than likely anticipated. He saw the students doin the goof and Lucie perte de performance - petite: lost performance - small.
In short, I dun fucked up. Sorry Lucie!

Another meal cooked for Lucie! Eggs and toast, which eggs is spelled mega difficultly in French with their fancy o so lemme go dig it up.
Œufs brouillés avec du bacon.
God I need a French keyboard.

This bitch keeps cleaning and repairing shit. Girl I need that for badges.

Like the Stereo broke, and guess who swooped over to fix it-

Loser Lisa. I had to rush poor Lucie out of her shower to get her to interrupt.

They don't get along.

A big test is the nexte day and Lucie can either stay the course studying or she can study a little more, so I had her study a little more. She's still a C student, after all.

Wee! Gain de performance - petit! That's what I like to see! she did ALL the studying. TOUS les cours!

It also got her up to a B!

She's pretty damn cute. I have her work on meal number 3 or 4 (I think I forgot to take a picture of one before this).

OF course this bitch hopped right on cleaning. I WANTED it dirty! She's just trying to make it hard for Lucie to get badges.
So I went over the rules and combed through them, realizing that becoming a vampire wasn't outside the rules, plus Lucie was just miserable, ok? Vampires I knew inside and out thanks to Lettie and co in the Ghibli Legacy. I knew how to get rid of some of those pesky needs that were getting in the way of my success, so I took that route.
And there's only one person I trust to treat my Lucie well...

Mhm, you know who.

God I swear this boy doesn't leave his chess table without Lettie there to drag him.

Lucie: Bonsoir! Je m'appelle Lucie! Mords moi, s'il vous plait!
Caleb: ... 😅
Me: *furiously digging through menus* Come on... turn... turn... look for... something like... AHA!

FUN FACT, more amusing for moi as a native English speaker, in French, "to ask" is "demander." So it's been a REAL trip going through these menus and seeing DEMANDER UNE TRANSFORMATION! Like GIVE! ME! THE! TRANSFORMATION!

Ask for a transformation we do, right as Wolfgang calls to ask Lucie to join his club.

Caleb does his thing with some help holding the squirmy girl from his sister.

Lilith much approves.

She's ONE step closer to less misery! I send her home immediately because chop chop time is wasting! Wolfgang was stalking her outside her house.

Lucie: Le battement de ton coeur est très joli!
Wolfgang: Yea... that's weird.

Wolfgang: Yet I seem to really, really like weird.
The next day was love day, which was one helluva translation filled day. Here's some of the highlights:

100% Usually dump these on Blamsart who lets me walk through how I think it's supposed to be translated while she agrees or aids me. LOVE YOU BAE! 💓💓💓💓
So in the art class for Lucie the students are making cards and I can have her make a "hilarantes (hilarious)" card or a "sincères (sincere/serious)" card. Naturally, I go for humor.

Lucie est considérée comme l'eleve (seriously not digging for those E's anymore jfc it's a whole menu I have to parse through EACH TIME) la plus drole de l'ecole.
SHE'S CONSIDERED THE CLASS CLOWN, YALL, but in the best way. LA PLUS DROLE = the funniest (superlative) of the school. Who knew she had such humor?
Well anyways, it's love day so I send her out on a date with Wolfgang. He stalks her house most days anyways and tolerates her weirdness, so why not?
Not to mention I'm 99% sure Lucie is crushing hard on him.

We even wasted money buying a tulip so he might like her more.

Thank the gods he did.

After that I began with the light flirting, ones I recognized like complimenting l'appearance, etc.

Until she could ask him on a date, which was a bit of a stab in the dark, but thankfully I stabbed in the right way!

Date launched, let's get this dinner-date started!

Poor Lucie is starving because new vampirism sucking away at her life.

So we order the cheapest things I can get away with... I mean I did splurge a little. Wolfgang got sparkling water instead of just water, you know l'eau minerale rather than just l'eau. I got poor Lucie some tea hoping it might give her positive moodlets. They then ordered the two cheaper items - him having a vegetarian option just in case because... better safe than sorry.

Things are going well, I'm rolling in some Flirters and Complimenter l'apparence.

I got a huge laugh at this one, it's "ask if single" in French, but to me this reads as:
Then... Then I got lazy.
Then I grabbed a random one by chance.
Technique de drague.

After digging through many translates I finally figured out why.
Pick-up line not well received, I see.

It took a little bit to get things rolling again and the food arrived... sans texture for Wolfgang, but I'm sure it's still edible... hopefully.

Lucie: Il est très beau!
Wolfgang: I hate everything.
Lucie: J'aime te regarder détester le monde...

Don't that just look yummy? Pure white and ready to take your life?

Snap a pic because we're la bombe like that. (AKA: extra)

Lucie can't tell if she's tasting bile in her mouth because of the vampirism or because of the unusual food.

So she goes back to staring at Wolfgang who is morosely eating his white, untextured future butt-canon.

The date ends with much success.... until Lucie gets home.

Lucie has great luck, everyone, can't you tell? That's the Food Poisoning notice. The good news is, when I called (you know, after spending 3 minutes parsing through menus to figure out how) they gave her $200 to keep her quiet.
That's a net $165 dollars from this date. Not too shabby!

Yet hilariously by the time she got home, she was starving again. The fridge broke too, so she stopped eating to fix it.

Loser Lisa came in and left a plate of uncooked/unprepared food for Lucie to trip and die over, because she's just gracious like that, and Lilith decided to check in on her adopted child.

Lilith: You need to give yourself a break, Lucie.
Lucie: Je ne peux pas!
Yup, I've headcanoned that Lucie is adopted by the Vatore siblings. Fits too, Lettie would've mothered her to happiness by now had she been involved.

My poor, poor femme citronnée...

1 comment:

  1. aoifjlskaf hahahaha these french curses I LOVE IT


    I love all these french you're WEAVING THRU IT

    Also FUCK Loser Lisa too even if she makes for some good alliteration phrases
    Lol keep strong LUCIE